Günters Witzeseite

Definition of Capitalism

Traditional Capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the output of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth of the size of ordinary cows and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

German Capitalism: You have two cows. You order them to both produce twice as much milk in the same amount of time. When they don't you shoot one. The other starts producing four times as much milk.

Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn that you have four cows. You count them again and learn that you have eight cows. You count them again and learn that you have sixteen cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Polish Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are stolen from Germany.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them and you sell the milk are excessive prices.

Hindu Capitalism: You have two cows, you worship them.

Israeli Capitalism: You have two cows. To protect their freedom you invade neighboring pastures and shoot all cows grazing on there claiming that the pasture belonged to Moses.

Greek Capitalism: You have two cows. That one on the left is kind of cute...

English Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Egyptian Capitalism: You have one cow; and only one cow; and will always have the same cow........guess who???

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